sopoforia:

Lacan says that anxiety is generated when you come too close to the object of your desire. This is because the first imperative of desire is to perpetuate itself, and if you ever actually achieve what you desire, that satisfaction marks desire’s death. So, in order to continue desiring, you need to sabotage yourself when you draw too near to accomplishing your desire, so as to postpone the moment of satisfaction for as long as possible. Basically, the yearning of desire is much more powerful than fulfillment. I think this is the main reason some people (self included) are so godawful at relationships, and also why it’s much hotter in porn if they keep some underwear on.